Tonight I had a dream, or rather this morning. I was reminded I dreamed it because the phone suddenly rang and I woke up with this dream in the mind. Perhaps this is the first time I write one of my dream on this diary. But such a dream it happens to me at times. Now the story.
I was returning home, alone, in a place that is supposed to be Tarlabaşı, our neighborhood here in Istanbul. I also walk fast because in my mind the boys, my flatmates, they are playing football behind our house. And I, of course, I want to take part.
Not far from home, my attention focuses on a grocery store, one of the many. I am a little bit hungry, but not too much. I decide to come in and buy something. At the end I buy little artichokes. The seller, with a little girl by his side, presumably his daughter (is not rare to meet girls behind the counter of the food here in Istanbul), asks me: <<Anything else?>>. In fact I felt a little uncomfortable with me because I had only a 50 turkish liras note (€ 25) and the jar of artichokes cost only 2 liras (€ 1), perhaps it would be difficult to change. I look at the products and say: <<know what is the problem? is that I do not even eat cheese and meat>>. Indeed, at sight, there were only dairy products, meat and artichokes at the store. He asks me: <<Fish?>>. I: <<Mm, yes>>. The seller again: <<Look, we have an aquarium with fish still alive, you can take it one and you'll cook once at home>>. Then I answer: <<Ok, then one>>, but not very convinced, just in order to not cause offense and not feel uncomfortable with my only 50 liras note.
The seller is trying to catch a fish, a normal fish. Takes the fish with one hand and puts it on a board beside the aquarium, but this makes a jump and goes back into the aquarium. Then the seller takes the pliers and pulls out from the aquarium 2 small fish, tiny, all colors, more suitable for a lounge aquarium than as food. Fish to see, not to eat. Just, looks at me, smiles and says: <<very good!>>.
I make a face as if to say: "it seems strange, but anyway". I ask "how much" and he replies: <<30 liras>> (15 €), smiling again.
<<How? 30 liras for 2 fish small as a fingertip? That is 28 liras, because 2 liras are the artichokes. Sorry, this is a theft, I do not pay>>. The little girl makes a sad face, I am sorry. I see and I soften. I am about to pay 30 liras, but the father anticipates me and gives me the rest: all in coins! At least a kilo of coins. I reply: <<Look, it seems to me too much. Return the artichokes and give me back the 50 liras>>.
At this point, the father becomes aggressive: <<If you don't pay, I call the police>>. Inside of me I think: "you can also call the police, I don't mind". But I insist that I be refunded with the 50 liras note. Now the poor little girl is ever more shocked and sad. Not a good show, but also to provide a kilo of coins, it seems to me too much.
At this point the police arrives. I am in a corner of the store. The plainclothes policeman arrives and pulls out the handcuffs. Asks me to extend the wrists. I approach them, but just as the handcuffs are about to take a leap and I decide to react and I depict the wrists. Then I begin to notice: <<I do not wear the handcuffs absolutely! I want a translator, I must explain my reasons>>. And I do the list of languages in which I can respond: Italian, Spanish, English (question: and how did I communicate with the seller? With simple Turkish and gestures, as always). In a moment you see a guy who speaks Italian. I tell him my story, the shop is now full of people, I always in a corner with the policeman that wants to put the handcuffs on my wrists.
At this point the phone rang and I woke up.
I can trace back this dream to a specific episode that marked my last few months. I do meditate on this dream, but some elements seem already clear:
1) I am innocent, at least not worthy of arrest, but rather circumvented by the seller that wanted to deceive me with 2 colored fish to eat, small as a fingertip, for 14 liras each (7 €, we usually buy 3 kilos of fish with 7 € here in Istanbul).
2) I do not accept summary trials and judgments without discussion, and even handcuffs to the wrists without having explained my point of view to an equable odience, I want to explain my point of view, somebody must give me the time to do so.
3) What are we talking about: a deception or a misunderstanding? This must be clarified! Because, in case of a deception, I am the victim.
4) I lost everything: football match with my flatmates (I was really interested in), I am still hungry, and I am in troubles.
5) This story teaches me once again one thing: bad surprises always come when I accept something that I don't really want.
6) The thing that pains me mostly is that little girl behind the bench, how sad things has seen, because she is pure and without the malice of her father, but took no position, just gets sad and at some point disappears from the scene.
I was returning home, alone, in a place that is supposed to be Tarlabaşı, our neighborhood here in Istanbul. I also walk fast because in my mind the boys, my flatmates, they are playing football behind our house. And I, of course, I want to take part.
Not far from home, my attention focuses on a grocery store, one of the many. I am a little bit hungry, but not too much. I decide to come in and buy something. At the end I buy little artichokes. The seller, with a little girl by his side, presumably his daughter (is not rare to meet girls behind the counter of the food here in Istanbul), asks me: <<Anything else?>>. In fact I felt a little uncomfortable with me because I had only a 50 turkish liras note (€ 25) and the jar of artichokes cost only 2 liras (€ 1), perhaps it would be difficult to change. I look at the products and say: <<know what is the problem? is that I do not even eat cheese and meat>>. Indeed, at sight, there were only dairy products, meat and artichokes at the store. He asks me: <<Fish?>>. I: <<Mm, yes>>. The seller again: <<Look, we have an aquarium with fish still alive, you can take it one and you'll cook once at home>>. Then I answer: <<Ok, then one>>, but not very convinced, just in order to not cause offense and not feel uncomfortable with my only 50 liras note.
The seller is trying to catch a fish, a normal fish. Takes the fish with one hand and puts it on a board beside the aquarium, but this makes a jump and goes back into the aquarium. Then the seller takes the pliers and pulls out from the aquarium 2 small fish, tiny, all colors, more suitable for a lounge aquarium than as food. Fish to see, not to eat. Just, looks at me, smiles and says: <<very good!>>.
I make a face as if to say: "it seems strange, but anyway". I ask "how much" and he replies: <<30 liras>> (15 €), smiling again.
<<How? 30 liras for 2 fish small as a fingertip? That is 28 liras, because 2 liras are the artichokes. Sorry, this is a theft, I do not pay>>. The little girl makes a sad face, I am sorry. I see and I soften. I am about to pay 30 liras, but the father anticipates me and gives me the rest: all in coins! At least a kilo of coins. I reply: <<Look, it seems to me too much. Return the artichokes and give me back the 50 liras>>.
At this point, the father becomes aggressive: <<If you don't pay, I call the police>>. Inside of me I think: "you can also call the police, I don't mind". But I insist that I be refunded with the 50 liras note. Now the poor little girl is ever more shocked and sad. Not a good show, but also to provide a kilo of coins, it seems to me too much.
At this point the police arrives. I am in a corner of the store. The plainclothes policeman arrives and pulls out the handcuffs. Asks me to extend the wrists. I approach them, but just as the handcuffs are about to take a leap and I decide to react and I depict the wrists. Then I begin to notice: <<I do not wear the handcuffs absolutely! I want a translator, I must explain my reasons>>. And I do the list of languages in which I can respond: Italian, Spanish, English (question: and how did I communicate with the seller? With simple Turkish and gestures, as always). In a moment you see a guy who speaks Italian. I tell him my story, the shop is now full of people, I always in a corner with the policeman that wants to put the handcuffs on my wrists.
At this point the phone rang and I woke up.
I can trace back this dream to a specific episode that marked my last few months. I do meditate on this dream, but some elements seem already clear:
1) I am innocent, at least not worthy of arrest, but rather circumvented by the seller that wanted to deceive me with 2 colored fish to eat, small as a fingertip, for 14 liras each (7 €, we usually buy 3 kilos of fish with 7 € here in Istanbul).
2) I do not accept summary trials and judgments without discussion, and even handcuffs to the wrists without having explained my point of view to an equable odience, I want to explain my point of view, somebody must give me the time to do so.
3) What are we talking about: a deception or a misunderstanding? This must be clarified! Because, in case of a deception, I am the victim.
4) I lost everything: football match with my flatmates (I was really interested in), I am still hungry, and I am in troubles.
5) This story teaches me once again one thing: bad surprises always come when I accept something that I don't really want.
6) The thing that pains me mostly is that little girl behind the bench, how sad things has seen, because she is pure and without the malice of her father, but took no position, just gets sad and at some point disappears from the scene.
