I didn't come. I am not there. After 2 years, this time I am not attending Rock-a Festival, near Izmir, Turkey. The first year it was magical. The beach, the sunset, the music, the olive trees, the people. Something that awoke deep feelings in me and pushed me to radical decisions. Last year it was familiar, like to feel at home and to rise up again after a "long cold lonely winter".
This year life led me elsewhere, kept in Italy for stupid reasons, setbacks, but that make me think that something is not like before anyway. Well, this was clear even before, but Rock-a is the right halfway point which makes it definitively clear.
Years after years, I began to doubt those who abound with nice words. I think some nice manner is preferable between people, but when it is even prominent, it makes me doubt. I remember the first message: "see you tomorrow, my brother". I was on the ferry, crossing the Bosphorus at night, march 2008. I said to myself: "Wow! This might be a very kind person. He doesn't even know me and already considers me a brother: it might be eastern hospitality". Today I know the answer. It doesn't make me proud nor happy to know it. Rather, it leaves me without feelings. Call it comradeship. That is not exactly something I enjoy to receive. The difference between "hospitality" and "comradeship" is easy to see. Both are legitimate, given that, in the case of the comradeship, a common platform is clear for everybody. And often it is not like that.
For instance: what do you mean by "Revolution"? Coming from Latin, it means "turn upside-down". But, in your mind, how much are you available to turn upside-down? The lower classes take the power instead of the upper classes? Then, no much will change, I think. The leaders of the "Revolution" take the power in the name of the people in order to share it equally? Even more questionable. Remember Sergent Garcia? "Tu me estàs hablando de la revoluciòn pero yo quiero que me hables de tu revoluciòn", from the song "Revoluciòn" (LISTEN HERE). The lyrics say: "you are talking to me about revolution, but I wish you talk to me about your revolution". The meaning is clear, I think. I hope. And it's exactly the difference between comradeship and hospitality. Call it "change the world without taking power".
If we don't change ourselves upside-down inside us, if the revolution doesn't come inside us first of all, it's hard to change something outside. All the words of the world will not be enough to change even a comma of the social life, if we don't change inside. This is the only revolution I am available to persue and to fight for. The others are only alibis for the current thirst for power of some outsider (on the skin of the other outsiders).
So please, don't make me listen anymore to the word "solidarity". This is another thing. From latin again, it means "effort to help free someone in need". There's even a religious meaning of the word, since all the mankind should help those who are in need. But anyway, I would like to stress this "help free". In fact in comradeship, there's no space for doing something free, because everything depends on the cause. If you help me, you help me because I am member of the same fight. So you are supporting the fight, not me. And, for instance, which should be the cause, in our case? Who knows? Who never knew? The platform once again was not clear. Is it Bandista the cause? Let's discuss it. But I don't see you altogether since last august, 11 months ago, you sent me only collective e-mail or emissaries. This is not a discussion. So, it's not a cause, it's a dogma. Therefore, it was never solidarity.
Words are important. And some word is important to be said. And should be important also to be understood sometimes. For instance: one day we were talking at home preparing tea. Were talking about "fascism". One of you said he was believing that the word "fascism" comes from "faça", "faza", "faccia" in Italian, "face" in English. Like to say the apotheosis of the idea of racism, judging people according to their face. But it's wrong. "Fascism" comes from "fascio", which trivially means "beam". It comes from an ancient roman symbol which has a beam of bushes tied in order to hold an ax. That's why I think it was an Italian historical tragedy much more than a word from which you can take a world wide concept. It was a military symbol of course, but nothing else. The "banality of Evil", should say Hannah Arendt.
However, this was one of the most amazing side of our friendship: to teach each other on a horizontal level starting from 2 different cultures. Internationalism, grassroots democracy, right? It gave me a lot, until you have demanded an unconditional adherence to the cause. That's it. Our failure was consumed on a cultural level much more than on a political level (but often the container is much more important than the content and forms are more important than substance). Maximalism and minimalism, collectivism and individualism can explain much better what didn't work between us. Maximalism is a good thing when it is able to unite the common aspirations and feelings of people. But it's a damage when it starts to impose its own dogmas. Minimalism is a good thing when it's able to respect and understand the thousands nuances of the human being, but it's a damage when it prevents people from having a public common dimension. As well, collectivism is a good thing when it unites the common effort of everybody in order to achieve a common aim, but it's a damage when it shuts down the voice of who disagrees. And individualism is a good thing when it claims the personal rights of every human being, but it is a damage when it justifies egoism and inequality. It depends how you move on the table. Now, draw a line, if you like, between this 4 contents and put yourselves behind. What do you see? Our lines are far, isn't it? Good to know. It's ok, until somebody will mob or even use his hands against the other. Right?
So, just to set some point, I never despised any of your help and still thank you. But if to dispense aid is a way to condition and control the decisions of others, then this is blackmailing, not solidarity. So, thanks and sorry, I should not have accepted it. And nevertheless I didn't take advantage behind your shoulders. Our contact lists were mutually wide open, once upon a time. But if one of you was annoyed or hurt because I took the place of Bandista in Tunç's band (more than one year ago), you must know that I did it only after I forced Tunç to come back and speak with you and clarify that it was an artistic (and therefore legitimate) failure between you, but not a friendship breakdown. And I spent myself so much to get this meeting between you and that asshole of Tunç. So, I guess that this was the first crack, right? At least for one of you. Am I wrong? The alleged proof that I was not working for the cause but against it. Tell me the truth, because nothing could make me believe the opposite until now.
Then everything followed, including the cover of "Pardon afedersiniz Mr. Genelkurmay" just to show that you can handle Tunc's music much better. I mean, this is a fight I never fought. What do I care about Tunç's music when there's no respect nor common aim?
It's hard to say what is mine and what is yours in this case. As always after a deep and intense partnership. Also because these can be practical examples, excuses, alibis, but the reasons are on that table where we drew our lines.
But I want to say that I have all the proofs of what I am saying (and I could say much more), although it's useless, as you have the whole jury on your side and the judgment is already done. But I am not afraid to stand in front of a collective of people who will swear against me. I am not afraid of the judgment of the "Bandista Popular Propaganda Committee". Thanks to the sky, there's another world outside. And I am not afraid to face the mechanism of alliances you built up on the ground, which you will take care to poison against me once again. The respect to my principles is more important. Remember "Parrhesiastes"? What I have to say, I say. And only who finished his argumentations uses his hands or any other kind of provocation or psychological violence to prevail. Or call himself revolutionary or libertarian or internationalist and then claim to tell me which place I can go and which people I can attend. It sounds more like a gang tribal behavior. By him and by those who just stand and say nothing.
And I cannot finish this open letter without saying that you made me so angry last month. This is a line that nobody should ever cross. And now it makes me believe that yes, it was a hard decision, but at least I was right when I denied to make available the shooting of your concerts. In fact, supposedly, I avoided further speculation on the body of Ali. And seeing how you spent his death is enough for me to decide to not uphold my promise and deny that shooting also for the future. Call Ali a "Bandista member" in front of the public opinion is totally reductive, restrictive and simplistic of what Ali has been and you know it very well. You had no right to put your hat on his death. He was also a friend of mine and of many others much more than all the people who gave him a generic solidarity (?) and never met him in life in name of a struggle that was not supposed to be Ali's struggle. How was it? Honor for the fallen.. All the causes need their heroes..
You remember the "chain hunger strike for Gaza"? I was criticized by one of you because I started to fast on my own without promoting my action. We can discuss about it, as we did, but I think that a compulsive and aggressive strategy of communication is not legitimate. There are things that can be (and sometimes must remain) private. And there is never such a "realpolitik" that allows at times to cross certain lines, like in the Ali's death case.
I know, it's hard to read these lines, and hard for me to write. One suggestion: take a breath and think: "we are maximalists, Miche is minimalist. We will never meet him again". And I am sure you'll be better.
Two years ago, sitting in a pub in Kadıköy, one of you told me: "we are waiting for the European Social Forum to be held in Istanbul. It's our turning point, if we will be not able to change within that time, we will not have chance to do it later anymore". These words impressed me. And maybe this is the reason why I fell in love with this cause. What remains, 2 years later, is a depressing sight. Those guys who were playing songs on the sofa at home in march 2008, I can't find anymore. The mules gave no birth. I wonder who made them abort overnight..
This year life led me elsewhere, kept in Italy for stupid reasons, setbacks, but that make me think that something is not like before anyway. Well, this was clear even before, but Rock-a is the right halfway point which makes it definitively clear.
Years after years, I began to doubt those who abound with nice words. I think some nice manner is preferable between people, but when it is even prominent, it makes me doubt. I remember the first message: "see you tomorrow, my brother". I was on the ferry, crossing the Bosphorus at night, march 2008. I said to myself: "Wow! This might be a very kind person. He doesn't even know me and already considers me a brother: it might be eastern hospitality". Today I know the answer. It doesn't make me proud nor happy to know it. Rather, it leaves me without feelings. Call it comradeship. That is not exactly something I enjoy to receive. The difference between "hospitality" and "comradeship" is easy to see. Both are legitimate, given that, in the case of the comradeship, a common platform is clear for everybody. And often it is not like that.
For instance: what do you mean by "Revolution"? Coming from Latin, it means "turn upside-down". But, in your mind, how much are you available to turn upside-down? The lower classes take the power instead of the upper classes? Then, no much will change, I think. The leaders of the "Revolution" take the power in the name of the people in order to share it equally? Even more questionable. Remember Sergent Garcia? "Tu me estàs hablando de la revoluciòn pero yo quiero que me hables de tu revoluciòn", from the song "Revoluciòn" (LISTEN HERE). The lyrics say: "you are talking to me about revolution, but I wish you talk to me about your revolution". The meaning is clear, I think. I hope. And it's exactly the difference between comradeship and hospitality. Call it "change the world without taking power".
If we don't change ourselves upside-down inside us, if the revolution doesn't come inside us first of all, it's hard to change something outside. All the words of the world will not be enough to change even a comma of the social life, if we don't change inside. This is the only revolution I am available to persue and to fight for. The others are only alibis for the current thirst for power of some outsider (on the skin of the other outsiders).
So please, don't make me listen anymore to the word "solidarity". This is another thing. From latin again, it means "effort to help free someone in need". There's even a religious meaning of the word, since all the mankind should help those who are in need. But anyway, I would like to stress this "help free". In fact in comradeship, there's no space for doing something free, because everything depends on the cause. If you help me, you help me because I am member of the same fight. So you are supporting the fight, not me. And, for instance, which should be the cause, in our case? Who knows? Who never knew? The platform once again was not clear. Is it Bandista the cause? Let's discuss it. But I don't see you altogether since last august, 11 months ago, you sent me only collective e-mail or emissaries. This is not a discussion. So, it's not a cause, it's a dogma. Therefore, it was never solidarity.
Words are important. And some word is important to be said. And should be important also to be understood sometimes. For instance: one day we were talking at home preparing tea. Were talking about "fascism". One of you said he was believing that the word "fascism" comes from "faça", "faza", "faccia" in Italian, "face" in English. Like to say the apotheosis of the idea of racism, judging people according to their face. But it's wrong. "Fascism" comes from "fascio", which trivially means "beam". It comes from an ancient roman symbol which has a beam of bushes tied in order to hold an ax. That's why I think it was an Italian historical tragedy much more than a word from which you can take a world wide concept. It was a military symbol of course, but nothing else. The "banality of Evil", should say Hannah Arendt.
However, this was one of the most amazing side of our friendship: to teach each other on a horizontal level starting from 2 different cultures. Internationalism, grassroots democracy, right? It gave me a lot, until you have demanded an unconditional adherence to the cause. That's it. Our failure was consumed on a cultural level much more than on a political level (but often the container is much more important than the content and forms are more important than substance). Maximalism and minimalism, collectivism and individualism can explain much better what didn't work between us. Maximalism is a good thing when it is able to unite the common aspirations and feelings of people. But it's a damage when it starts to impose its own dogmas. Minimalism is a good thing when it's able to respect and understand the thousands nuances of the human being, but it's a damage when it prevents people from having a public common dimension. As well, collectivism is a good thing when it unites the common effort of everybody in order to achieve a common aim, but it's a damage when it shuts down the voice of who disagrees. And individualism is a good thing when it claims the personal rights of every human being, but it is a damage when it justifies egoism and inequality. It depends how you move on the table. Now, draw a line, if you like, between this 4 contents and put yourselves behind. What do you see? Our lines are far, isn't it? Good to know. It's ok, until somebody will mob or even use his hands against the other. Right?
So, just to set some point, I never despised any of your help and still thank you. But if to dispense aid is a way to condition and control the decisions of others, then this is blackmailing, not solidarity. So, thanks and sorry, I should not have accepted it. And nevertheless I didn't take advantage behind your shoulders. Our contact lists were mutually wide open, once upon a time. But if one of you was annoyed or hurt because I took the place of Bandista in Tunç's band (more than one year ago), you must know that I did it only after I forced Tunç to come back and speak with you and clarify that it was an artistic (and therefore legitimate) failure between you, but not a friendship breakdown. And I spent myself so much to get this meeting between you and that asshole of Tunç. So, I guess that this was the first crack, right? At least for one of you. Am I wrong? The alleged proof that I was not working for the cause but against it. Tell me the truth, because nothing could make me believe the opposite until now.
Then everything followed, including the cover of "Pardon afedersiniz Mr. Genelkurmay" just to show that you can handle Tunc's music much better. I mean, this is a fight I never fought. What do I care about Tunç's music when there's no respect nor common aim?
It's hard to say what is mine and what is yours in this case. As always after a deep and intense partnership. Also because these can be practical examples, excuses, alibis, but the reasons are on that table where we drew our lines.
But I want to say that I have all the proofs of what I am saying (and I could say much more), although it's useless, as you have the whole jury on your side and the judgment is already done. But I am not afraid to stand in front of a collective of people who will swear against me. I am not afraid of the judgment of the "Bandista Popular Propaganda Committee". Thanks to the sky, there's another world outside. And I am not afraid to face the mechanism of alliances you built up on the ground, which you will take care to poison against me once again. The respect to my principles is more important. Remember "Parrhesiastes"? What I have to say, I say. And only who finished his argumentations uses his hands or any other kind of provocation or psychological violence to prevail. Or call himself revolutionary or libertarian or internationalist and then claim to tell me which place I can go and which people I can attend. It sounds more like a gang tribal behavior. By him and by those who just stand and say nothing.
And I cannot finish this open letter without saying that you made me so angry last month. This is a line that nobody should ever cross. And now it makes me believe that yes, it was a hard decision, but at least I was right when I denied to make available the shooting of your concerts. In fact, supposedly, I avoided further speculation on the body of Ali. And seeing how you spent his death is enough for me to decide to not uphold my promise and deny that shooting also for the future. Call Ali a "Bandista member" in front of the public opinion is totally reductive, restrictive and simplistic of what Ali has been and you know it very well. You had no right to put your hat on his death. He was also a friend of mine and of many others much more than all the people who gave him a generic solidarity (?) and never met him in life in name of a struggle that was not supposed to be Ali's struggle. How was it? Honor for the fallen.. All the causes need their heroes..
You remember the "chain hunger strike for Gaza"? I was criticized by one of you because I started to fast on my own without promoting my action. We can discuss about it, as we did, but I think that a compulsive and aggressive strategy of communication is not legitimate. There are things that can be (and sometimes must remain) private. And there is never such a "realpolitik" that allows at times to cross certain lines, like in the Ali's death case.
I know, it's hard to read these lines, and hard for me to write. One suggestion: take a breath and think: "we are maximalists, Miche is minimalist. We will never meet him again". And I am sure you'll be better.
Two years ago, sitting in a pub in Kadıköy, one of you told me: "we are waiting for the European Social Forum to be held in Istanbul. It's our turning point, if we will be not able to change within that time, we will not have chance to do it later anymore". These words impressed me. And maybe this is the reason why I fell in love with this cause. What remains, 2 years later, is a depressing sight. Those guys who were playing songs on the sofa at home in march 2008, I can't find anymore. The mules gave no birth. I wonder who made them abort overnight..
ps: I do not like to plan controversy, I just had to say my ideas. In Naples they say: "Chi ha avuto, ha avuto, ha avuto... chi ha dato, ha dato, ha dato... scurdámmoce 'o ppassato, simmo 'e Napule paisá!" = "Who took, he took and took, who gave, he gave and gave, let's forget the past, we are all Neapolitan citizens!".
Rock-a 2009. We were all there..
