I farmed the hope for a long time, but everything was useless, or at least not enough. I must say goodbye to my dream. That was dream for 3 reasons: it was the natural outlet of my efforts, it was a dream itself, it was in the place I dreamed of for a long time and possibly I was about to move and live. I was about or I am about, I still don't know. I just can admit my failure. And when you fail like this, you are confused. You wonder why. You try to find any sign behind things that happen. You give a meaning to everything. And what I can collect now is that Berlin doesn't want me.
"Katırlar doğurunca" was not selected for the next Berlinale. If I have to say my opinion frankly, for what the movie is now, it could have been there without any doubt. I say this because I was at Berlinale in the last 2 editions and I have in mind what is the standard of the works. I mean, I was not pretending to be selected for the main competition, that's another thing, we agree. But a little place for this movie had to be. But for sure, who am I? Nobody helped me (on the contrary, I was under fire from different sides) and possibly those who could, they pretended to watch elsewhere, because it doesn't sound. I mean. What is doing an Italian in Istanbul, all alone, for 2 years, with his camera, no production behind? Sounds strange. Isn't it? Let me say: if I were in Berlinale, it was like an unprecedented case. Now it's easier, there's no case, there's no movie, there was no help, everything sounds better. Even in Berlin, if you want to go on, you need a push. And I didn't have any push and those who came to give me a push in exchange of some dirty job, I spit in their face.
What should I do now? First: admit the failure. I was not enough. I can mention this or that thing, but it doesn't work. Where I failed, it was in the relations, in winking, thing I am really bad at. But if I want to achieve something, I must be stronger and cleverer than everything. And I was not. Starting from today the ambition behind this movie is smaller. It's better to tell me this.
And I feel sorry for all those who, instead, were with me and worked with me. The actors, all those who were before, beside and behind the camera. And "Figli del Bronx", the production that lately decided to support the movie and whereby now I don't have any regret because I feel that this movie is that one I had in mind and in the heart. I wanted to thank them all in Berlin, but for this time I have to postpone till when, I don't know.
For all this stuff, I deserted the blog in the last month, despite all the revolts occurred in Italy, and there should have been much to write about. Probably, with the new year, it will be better to put back my feet on the ground and start from what is possible. Work is not missing, ideas neither. I will stay in Italy some more, let's see how long. I will stay in Naples. I will start over again from my few certainties. Things will find their way to fix it up. Berlin doesn't want me. Goodbye Berlin!
"Katırlar doğurunca" was not selected for the next Berlinale. If I have to say my opinion frankly, for what the movie is now, it could have been there without any doubt. I say this because I was at Berlinale in the last 2 editions and I have in mind what is the standard of the works. I mean, I was not pretending to be selected for the main competition, that's another thing, we agree. But a little place for this movie had to be. But for sure, who am I? Nobody helped me (on the contrary, I was under fire from different sides) and possibly those who could, they pretended to watch elsewhere, because it doesn't sound. I mean. What is doing an Italian in Istanbul, all alone, for 2 years, with his camera, no production behind? Sounds strange. Isn't it? Let me say: if I were in Berlinale, it was like an unprecedented case. Now it's easier, there's no case, there's no movie, there was no help, everything sounds better. Even in Berlin, if you want to go on, you need a push. And I didn't have any push and those who came to give me a push in exchange of some dirty job, I spit in their face.
What should I do now? First: admit the failure. I was not enough. I can mention this or that thing, but it doesn't work. Where I failed, it was in the relations, in winking, thing I am really bad at. But if I want to achieve something, I must be stronger and cleverer than everything. And I was not. Starting from today the ambition behind this movie is smaller. It's better to tell me this.
And I feel sorry for all those who, instead, were with me and worked with me. The actors, all those who were before, beside and behind the camera. And "Figli del Bronx", the production that lately decided to support the movie and whereby now I don't have any regret because I feel that this movie is that one I had in mind and in the heart. I wanted to thank them all in Berlin, but for this time I have to postpone till when, I don't know.
For all this stuff, I deserted the blog in the last month, despite all the revolts occurred in Italy, and there should have been much to write about. Probably, with the new year, it will be better to put back my feet on the ground and start from what is possible. Work is not missing, ideas neither. I will stay in Italy some more, let's see how long. I will stay in Naples. I will start over again from my few certainties. Things will find their way to fix it up. Berlin doesn't want me. Goodbye Berlin!
Pictures from a demonstration in Milan.
Along Adda river, in my homeland.
